Wow, it's almost February and I have not rant nothing yet this year (yeah yeah, double negatives yada yada yada). I must be getting soft. Anyway. Here's a quick one:
PM says: We must move fast
The rest of the gov says in order to move fast you have to:
1) Fill in form A, D11 and E
2) Write a 50 page business plan (anything less will be rejected)
3) Make 10 copies of said business plan plus 3 soft copies burned to DVDs (plain CDs will be rejected) marked "Moving fast program"
4) An Excel file stating the projection of profits for the next 10 years (yeah yeah, we know you made those numbers up but we really enjoy playing with Excel)
5) Should not have a prototype - if we as much as smell the flatulence of a prototype, your proposal will be rejected
6) 6 certified-true-copies of your SPM certificate (why 6 copies... well we just made that up ). BTW, only the Ketua Kampung at which your school was situated would have the authority to certify those copies.
7) 7 copies of your IC (again, must be certified true copy - again, we made the number 7 up... wow this IS fun).
8) Satu dulang hati nyamuk
9) And don't forget, stamp duty RM 10
10) You should have never ever fail before. What? You got third place in that 'Lari dalam guni' competition at kindergarden? Next!!
2) Write a 50 page business plan (anything less will be rejected)
3) Make 10 copies of said business plan plus 3 soft copies burned to DVDs (plain CDs will be rejected) marked "Moving fast program"
4) An Excel file stating the projection of profits for the next 10 years (yeah yeah, we know you made those numbers up but we really enjoy playing with Excel)
5) Should not have a prototype - if we as much as smell the flatulence of a prototype, your proposal will be rejected
6) 6 certified-true-copies of your SPM certificate (why 6 copies... well we just made that up ). BTW, only the Ketua Kampung at which your school was situated would have the authority to certify those copies.
7) 7 copies of your IC (again, must be certified true copy - again, we made the number 7 up... wow this IS fun).
8) Satu dulang hati nyamuk
9) And don't forget, stamp duty RM 10
10) You should have never ever fail before. What? You got third place in that 'Lari dalam guni' competition at kindergarden? Next!!
1 comment:
This rant is hilarious. Reason been that it is mostly not true. I seriously doubt that the government still practice ancient specifications of the hati nyamok.
What is wrong with the Innovation vetting process is that the hulubalang sitting around the Sultan approving the grants. Heard of the "Singapura dilanggar todak" story?
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